She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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