i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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