So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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