he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Quick, to the slutcave!
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
