I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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