but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
