Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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