did you get engaged???
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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