ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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