Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize