your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
