new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
my poor anus
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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