There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
