What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
