I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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