somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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