there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
