NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
