i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize