I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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