hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
