there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
this hospital has no fireball
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
