yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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