They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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