ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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