I am puke
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
