Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
