We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
