Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
