I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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