they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
