We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
