did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
