just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
