there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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