There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
