I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
