He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
