Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize