My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
