Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
