so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
