tonight lets celebrate not being married
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
