i don't like sucking hair
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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