Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
