dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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