i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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