Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Randomize
