I want to stick my p in your. b.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
