Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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