Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
