you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize