Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
