That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
