y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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