i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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