dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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