I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
