do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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