That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Life without a bra equals bliss.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
