I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
