I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
