Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
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