please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
