It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
