PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
