I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
