So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
