I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
