dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
