i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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