My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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